


Your Crazy Love

by TheWordsInMyHead



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And O, And so does Madi, Angst, Best Friends, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jake ships it, Pining, everyone does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29586699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWordsInMyHead/pseuds/TheWordsInMyHead
Summary: So, what if it’s Valentine’s Day; so what if she’s wearing a dress that takes his breath away. This doesn’t have to mean what Jake, and Octavia if her opinions on his outfit earlier are anything to go by, think it does. He and Clarke are friends; they have dinner together all the time.Yet, when she takes his hand, pulling him through the front door with a hurried goodbye to her dad and a quick kiss to Madi’s head, Bellamy’s not sure he even believes himself. Every one of his arguments are true; they hang out all the time, and it’s really not that uncommon for her to take his breath away, whether it’s the way she laughs or the outfit on her body, but something about this feels different.The reality is that if he’s ever going to make a move, now is the perfect moment. For once, the timing might actually be right.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	Your Crazy Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [griffxnblake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/griffxnblake/gifts).



> For the wonderful Lia, I hope you like it <3

Years ago, Bellamy would dream of the day he’d be able to leave his sleepy hometown, off to see the great wonders of the world. As he drives through the familiar streets of Arcadia, though, the crisp February air blowing in through his rolled down windows, he’s thankful that he was forced to stay. He loves this place now in a way he couldn’t appreciate when he was young and wild, longing for freedom even if looking back, it’s always been good to him. 

The small community has always done whatever they could to help him before his mom passed or in the years after as he struggled to raise Octavia. They rallied around him, giving him and O the support they needed to get through those first few years, and they haven’t stopped since. He's under no delusion that he’d be where he is now, comfortable and happy with a job that he loves if it weren’t for them.

Yet, for as grateful as he is, and for as much as he no longer counted down the days until Octavia graduated and he’s once again free to venture out onto the great unknown, it wasn’t until Clarke returned a little over six months ago that he truly felt at peace here. To the surprise of virtually no one, she was the missing piece to his happily ever after. 

He smiles to himself as he pulls up to the old Griffin house. There’s something about the structure with its wrap-around porch and ivy-covered walls that just feels like home to him even though neither Clarke nor he spends all that much time here nowadays. They both have their own houses on the other end of town, but this is where they grew up together. There’s the porch where they used to spend long summer nights and the looming tree right next to her bedroom window that he used to climb to get in when he didn’t want to encounter Abby. 

A wave of nostalgia hits him at the memory, mixed with relief that he doesn’t have any similar trees around his place for any of O’s friends to sneak in through. It wasn’t like that between him and Clarke, it never has, but he still doesn’t really relish the thought of anyone climbing through his baby sister’s window regardless of their intentions. 

Pulling back the screen door, Bellamy enters the house without knocking. He gave up knocking nearly a decade ago, along with his pertinence for climbing trees and sneaking through windows when Jake sat him down and told him that he was always welcome, but he’d rather not find him on the ground with a broken neck one morning, so to stick to the doors.  
“Bellamy!” a high-pitched voice yells almost the moment he walks through the door, followed closely by the impact of a small body crashing into his legs. 

“Mads!” he calls back with the same enthusiasm, the smile on his face growing impossibly brighter. 

“Look, look.” 

He looks down, past the head of crazy dark curls to see a bright pink tutu, decked out with all the sparkles and sequins any five-year-old could want. “Wow!” 

“I got a pretty dress like mama.” 

“You do,” he says softly, running a hand through her hair as his smile turns more thoughtful. 

When the two of them first came to town, she was still referring to Clarke by her name, and while the switch isn’t that new, it still feels his heart with joy every time he hears it. Clarke had told him many times that she didn’t care, and he believed her, but it’s still nice to hear. 

Madi grabs onto his hands, looking at him with a tooth-filled grin, and he lifts her up, as is their custom, swinging her through the air. They spin in circles through the familiar living room, narrowly missing a collision with a lamp the Bellamy thinks might be older than him until eventually they crash land on the worn couch, nearly sick with dizziness and overcome with laughter. 

“Where is your mom?” Bellamy asks Madi once she’s back on the ground and her giggles have calmed down to gentle huffs of amusement. 

“Still getting ready,” Jake answers from the doorway to the kitchen with more than a hint of amusement. “There was something about a hair curler being created in hell...” He trails off with, looking between him and Madi with a smile before suddenly turning stern. “Now, I don’t need to remind you how large this property is, right? Lots of places to hide a body if you happen to step out of line.” 

His voice is grave, but Bellamy just rolls his eyes; he can’t help it. There’s no way they would even be going out tonight if it weren’t for Jake, not only because they wouldn’t have had someone to watch Madi, but because the idea wouldn’t have even occurred to either of them. Jake had offered to hang with Madi, suggested they do something, and then insisted when they both hesitated in a way that wasn’t the slightest bit subtle. 

No, there’s not even a hint of doubt in Bellamy’s mind that Jake approves, and Bellamy would be lying if he said that wasn’t a comfort to him. Having never known his dad, Jake has been the best replacement father figure he could have ever asked for, not only for him but for Octavia as well. 

Bellamy knows that if things had been different and the cancer hadn’t come back, the man would have happily taken full custody of O in his place. As it happened, though, Jake was only able to give him enough time to turn into a stable guardian, which is still much more than Bellamy would have ever asked for. 

“Threats? Really, dad?” Clarke’s voice echoes down the stairs. “It’s just Bellamy.” 

Grinning, he’s about to ask her what just Bellamy is supposed to mean when she slides into sight, and the words die in his throat. She’s wearing a silky red dress that fits her body like a second skin with off-the-shoulder sleeves and a v neckline that is oh so impractical but oh so amazing. In the back of his mind, he’s thankful that he’s still sitting down because he’s not sure his legs would still be working. 

She comes to a stop at the base of the stairs, landing with a flourish that might be entirely in his imagination. Standing there, she fiddles with her hair, which he notices for the first time is pulled together in a loose braid. “And the curling iron is straight from hell, but we came to an understanding; it went into the trash, and my hair had to settle for the good old, trusty braid.” 

He clears his throat, forcing his mind to work and then giving it up as a lost cause. With time running out, he says the first thing that comes to his mind that has nothing to do with how he’d like to “I feel like your expectations for this outing are much higher than they should be.” 

“Should I go change?” Clarke questions with a smirk on her face like she knows exactly where his mind has gone; the thought fills him with equal parts of euphoria and horror. There's always been a certain amount of electricity between them. For the first time, though, he’s unsure of what those sparks might turn into. 

“No,” he practically shouts, only to be filled with embarrassment at his outburst. Thankfully, he’s got Madi around to save him from himself. 

“No, mama. You look like a princess.” 

“Not exactly what I was going for,” Clarke responds with a mischievous smile, sharing a look with him. "I just thought it was a good excuse to get dressed up."

“A very good excuse,” Bellamy mutters to himself, ignoring the looks that Jake is surely sending in his direction. His feelings aren’t a secret, at least not to anyone other than Clarke, as far as he can tell, and he’s given up trying to deny it. 

There really was no reason after a certain point. She was gone for six long years, and that was too long for him to keep up the façade. Especially Jake with how much time he spent around the man. No, he’s in love with her, that much is obvious; the question is just what he’s going to do about it. 

It's going to have to be one for another time, though, Bellamy thinks, tearing his eyes away from where the hem of Clarke’s dress ends just above the middle of her thigh to look her in the eye; not that the change really helps his sanity. There’s a sparkle to them, just as spectacular as the ones sewn onto Madi’s outfit. Still, he forces himself to ask, “Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah,” Clarke tells him. “I just need to grab my sweater.” 

“I need shoes!” Madi declares loudly, making Clarke freeze. She undoubtedly explained the plan to Madi, but she must have forgotten in the excitement of seeing him, which is understandable. They really never go anywhere without her. He gives Clarke a look, though, telling her silently that he’s got this before he turns his attention to Madi, crouching down to her height. 

“Do you know what day it is?” 

“Valentines,” she explains with an eye roll that makes him want to laugh. “We learned about it in school.” 

“Okay, and what’s it about?” She just shrugs, so he continues his explanation with a smile. “Well, there are two important parts. The first is chocolate.” He pulls out a, hopefully not too melted, set of chocolate hearts from his back pocket and offers them to her. 

Her eyes grow wide in excitement as she quickly takes the treat. “Ooooh.”

“Do I get chocolate too?” Clarke asks teasingly, but underneath that is gratitude. 

“You get dinner,” he tells Clarke over his shoulder before turning back to Madi. “Chocolate is the first part, but the other part is getting to spend it with someone you love, which is why you need to stay here and be Grandpa’s Valentine. Keep him company, so he doesn’t get lonely. You’re his Valentine.” 

She nods her head in solum understanding, taking her role with all the significance it deserves. Bellamy expects that to be the end of it, but instead, Madi tilts her head to the side in consideration. “Does that make you mama’s Valentine?” 

There’s a childlike innocence to the question that makes his awkward pause even more notable. Or at least he feels like it does until he catches sight of Jake smirking at him out of the corner of his eye. 

“Something like that,” he finally answers when it’s clear that no one is coming to his rescue, which Madi thankfully takes as a satisfying answer. 

“Are heels a bad idea?” Clarke asks, changing the subject smoothly.

“You hate heels,” he responds simply. She spent the entire prom complaining because they hurt her feet. 

“But they complete the look,” she whines petulantly in a way that brings a smile straight to his face. 

“Clarke, the look is amazing... you look amazingly.” 

“Alright,” she finally says with a hard-done-by sigh and a shy smile. “Converse it is.” 

She quickly gets her shoes on, lacing them with a grin, and then they are headed towards the door without any further delays. 

“Have fun,” Jake tells them with the same knowing look, which Bellamy once again chooses to ignore. 

So, what if it’s Valentine’s Day; so what if she’s wearing a dress that takes his breath away. This doesn’t have to mean what Jake, and Octavia if her opinions on his outfit earlier are anything to go by, think it does. He and Clarke are friends; they have dinner together all the time. 

Yet, when she takes his hand, pulling him through the front door with a hurried goodbye to her dad and a quick kiss to Madi’s head, Bellamy’s not sure he even believes himself. Every one of his arguments are true; they hang out all the time, and it’s really not that uncommon for her to take his breath away, whether it’s the way she laughs or the outfit on her body, but something about this feels different. 

The reality is that if he’s ever going to make a move, now is the perfect moment. For once, the timing might actually be right. 

“Where are we headed?” Clarke asks, settling into the passenger side of the truck and doing up her seat belt. 

It's not until they are most of the way down the long driveway to answer and she’s let out a huff of exasperation that he finally twists to look at her. “It’s a surprise.” 

“Bellamy.” 

“Princess.” 

“Have I ever, in the 20 some odd years that you’ve known me, liked surprises?” 

“Okay, but in all those years, have I ever cared? Stop worrying,” he tells her, reaching over to flick the radio on. “Lean back and enjoy the ride.” 

She lets out a sigh, and he thinks that this might be the fastest she’s resigned herself to her fate, only for her to huff out, “Can I have a hint?” 

He hesitates for a second, considering what he could say without giving anything away. “You’ll like it.” 

For a second, it seems like she’s going to demand a more detailed answer, but instead, she just leans back with a huff and a smile. Chancing a glance at her while they wait at a stop sign, Bellamy is suddenly overcome with nerves. He thinks she’ll like it, really there’s nothing not to like, but still, he wonders if it’s a grand enough gesture for what he’s thinking about confessing. 

Thankfully, he doesn't have long to dwell on the matter as they pull up to their destination, an empty clearing on the edge of the property, a few moments later. 

“We’re here?” 

“Yup,” he responds, opening up the truck door and getting out. “Come on, let’s go,” he instructs, reaching into the back seat to grab all the supplies he packed. 

Her eyes light up at the sight of the basket, her expression not all that dissimilar to Madi’s when she spotted the chocolates, but she doesn’t actually say anything as he leads her down the path to the place he scooped out a few days ago. He places the blanket down, empties the basket of its contents, and then turns to face her with what he’s sure is a sheepish smile. “I told you to lower your expectations.” 

"This is perfect,” she tells him, settling on the ground beside him before taking the offered plastic cup filled with wine. She looks around, soaking up the scenery in the dusky sun with a grin on her face that makes him want to do stupid things. “Thank you." 

"it's a blanket with some crackers and a bottle of wine; it's not that exciting." 

"No,” she interrupts him, twisting her body to look him straight in the eye. “Not just for this, but for everything, for how good you are with Madi and how you looked after dad when I was gone.” He opens his mouth to tell her that it was nothing, that it’s easy to love Madi, and that visiting Jake has always been as much for him as for her, but she continues before he has the chance. "After all these years, you're still my person.” 

She smiles brightly back at him, tucking a stray bit of hair behind her ear, and suddenly all his reasons for not kissing her vanish into thin air. They are here, together, after so long apart. He’s her person, and she’s his. Why the hell is he waiting? 

Seized with clarity, he leans forward, pressing his lips against hers, and for one brief second, everything in his world is exactly as it should be as she returns the kiss. The river is sparkling, the crickets singing, and his heart is so full of love he’s sure it could burst. It was a long and convoluted road, but they made it; he has her here in his arms again, and he’s never letting go. A bubble of joy surrounds him as he leans in closer and then— 

Then it all falls away. 

She moves away. 

The crash back down to reality leaves him stunned, stealing his breath and robbing him of all coherent thought, so it’s not until a few moments later that he actually realizes she’s speaking. “Bellamy, I— we ca— I don’t,” she stammers, her words disjointed and unsure in a way he’s never seen before, so he forces a smile onto his face. 

“Okay.” 

Sitting back down fully, he does his absolute best to work past the lump in his throat. For all that he’s thought about this— and he has thought about this— he never considered that this would be the outcome. For all the nights he spent awake alone after she left, all the times he’d let his thoughts wander, he had always assumed that they were doomed by bad timing. Her mom left; his mom died. She got a scholarship to an amazing school across the country, and he got custody of Octavia. He believed that uncontrollable circumstances were why they never managed to start this thing between them, but apparently, he was wrong. 

By some curse of fate, she doesn’t feel the same way about him, but as hard as that is, he’s just going to have to move past it. Even though the very notion of it, especially after he finally got the courage to make a move, makes him want to run away and never look back. If she mattered even a little bit less than she does to him, maybe he would, but he can’t. 

He’ll take whatever she wants to give him, and if all that means is friendship, well then, he’s still one of the luckiest guys in the world. While she might not love him like he wants her to, he has no doubt that she does in fact love him. He just needs to remember that. 

“I don’t—” she tells him, sounding more broken than the vindictive part of him feels she has a right to, considering it was his heart that was just smashed to pieces, but she’s still his best friend, and he still loves her, so he once again pushes aside his own pain. 

“It’s okay,” he repeats, finally gathering the strength to look at her. “You can’t feel something you don’t, I understand that.” 

“No! Bellamy, no.” 

Tears start to leak from the corner of her eyes, and it’s like his body is being torn in two. Thirty minutes ago, he would have wrapped his arms around her and told her everything would be alright, but thirty minutes ago, he couldn’t have imagined being the reason for her grief-stricken face. 

“It’s okay,” he says again, fighting to keep his own emotions under control. Clarke shakes her head sadly, and he can’t stop his hand from reaching out. He clasps her cold fingers between his, trying to offer her strength that he’s not entirely sure he’s got to spare. “We’ll be fine. I’ll get over it— move past whatever feelings I have, and then we go back to normal. It’ll be fine, I probably.” 

Indecision wars across her face, and he’s suddenly struck with such a fierce stab of regret that he momentarily mistakes the roar of thunder in the distance for internal agony. He shouldn’t have kissed her; he shouldn’t have risked breaking what was so good already because as he watches her eyelids flutter, he’s not sure if he will be able to join his promise. Once you open Pandora’s box, there’s no going back. 

Her mouth settles into a determined line, and he finds himself looking away before she has a chance to speak, watching strikes of lightning flashes across the horizon. He really doesn’t want the memory of her face when she gives him the classic ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line to haunt him whenever he replays this moment like he’s sure he will. 

“It’s not that I don’t care— that I don’t feel it too,” she tells him brokenly, “but it can’t work; it won’t. Besides, I’ve got Madi now.” 

His eyes snap to hers as he allows his frustration to actually talk hold for the first time. “You can’t seriously think that’s an issue for me? Come on, Clarke.” She shifts uncomfortably before him, not quite managing to hold his gaze. “You know how much I love her.” 

“I do,” she responds, raising her sorrow-filled eyes. “And I’m so, so sorry.” 

“You’re sorry?” He pulls his hand back in horror. It’s one thing for her to not be interested; it hurts, and he truly thought things would be different, but it’s okay. He’s a grown-ass man, and he’ll get over it. For her to take the bond that he’s formed with Madi, though, and apologize for it, leaves him with a stinging hole in his chest and no words to fill it. 

“Yes, I am,” she tells him, raising up onto her knees and leaning forward like she wants to reach out to him but never getting any further. He eyes her hands, clasped tightly in her lap, his mind a storm of confusing emotions while she continues to explain. “I shouldn’t have come back, or I shouldn’t have stayed. I knew you’d get attached, that you’d end up feeling responsible, and that’s not fair.” 

“What the hell does that even mean?” he asks in exasperation, exhaustion further shortening his patience. 

“You’re almost free. Octavia’s got four more months of school, and then you’re free. You can go anywhere, be anything. The entire world is open for you to explore.” 

It takes him a few seconds through the haze of disappointment and bitterness to understand her meaning, and then once he does, the urge to cry grows. Timing is once again trying to get the better of them. He sits there for a while, mouth open as he absorbs what she’s implying, until suddenly a surge of determination fills him. 

“No.” 

“Bellamy…” 

“No,” he repeats more firmly. “I don’t care.” 

If possible, she looks even more distraught at his proclamation with a frown on her face and the wind blowing in her hair from its braid, but he doesn’t let that deter him. Unfortunately, she’s always been just as stubborn as him. 

“You do, Bellamy, I know you do. You’ve had pictures of world wonders tapped to tour bedroom wall as long as I’ve known you. There are random maps in your desk drawers and travel guides on your bookshelves. Traveling the world is your dream, and I’m not going to be the one who stops you,” she explains with a sad yet fond smile, finishing off the speech with a pointed, “Don’t put that kind of guilt on me.” 

The memory flashes across his mind as though it was yesterday and not nearly six years ago, filling him with the same sense of painful acceptance as always. She’d wanted to stay, to forgo university in favor of raising a moody 13-year-old with him, and he hadn’t let her. She had a great future ahead of her, far from their sleepy hometown and he wasn’t going to stand by and watch it disappear, not only for her but for him. There’s no way he would have been able to live with himself if she stayed for him. 

It was hard, but even with the struggle, he wouldn’t change a thing. It was the right call; she needed to leave, and he needed to stay. That doesn’t mean, though, that the same logic applies now. 

“It’s different.” 

“Why?” she challenges him with the same fire as before, but there’s a desperate undertone to the question that gives him hope. She wants this to work just as much as him, but she’s willing to sacrifice her happiness for him. The thought of what she’d give up, of how much she must love him, settles inside of him, filling him with warmth despite the sudden chill to the air. 

“Because we aren’t 18 anymore; I’m not that same kid. I don’t need to leave to figure out where I’m meant to be because I’ve already found it. That used to be my dream, but it’s not anymore. You are. You and Madi and a quaint little house with neighbors who know all our business and apple pie eating contests and fourth of July picnics.” 

He leans closer to her, finally giving in to the impulse to wipe away her tears. She melts into his touch, closing her eyes and letting out a nearly silent sigh of contentment, which is all the encouragement he needs to continue. 

“It doesn’t matter if I never get to climb Mount Everest or visit the ancient ruins of Greece. I don’t need to drive along the coast of Italy or go swimming in Australia. As long as I have you, your hand in mine. I’ll die a happy man.” 

She opens her eyes slowly, as though she’s worried seeing him will break the peace of the moment, but she need not have concerned herself. He’s sure, he has been for a while now, and as soon as she looks at him, he knows she’ll be able to see it. 

A happy smile pulls at the corner of her lips while one of her hands reaches out to brush across his shoulder. “What a speech.” 

“I know, right?” he responds with a self-deprecating laugh. “Maybe I should have less with it.” 

“The kiss was pretty spectacular too,” she tells him, leaning closer only to stop with her mouth a fraction of a hair’s width away from his. “Are you sure?” 

“Princess, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” 

Without another second of hesitation, he smashes his lips against hers, tangling his fingers in her now loose hair. She matches his movements, her hands roaming his body while her lips dance with his until suddenly, she changes the tempo, and it’s his turn to follow. 

He does his best to keep up, but it’s nearly impossible through the grin threatening to break across his face. He had thought that their first kiss was magical, and it was, but this one is infinitely better. Now that they are on the same page, there’s nothing left for him to worry about. He can place his hand on her hip with no hesitation, and then when she climbs into his lap, he doesn’t make any attempt to stifle his groan of appreciation. 

Their mouths move together while their hands explore without restraint. Time loses meaning as his world narrows down to her and the feel of her skin pressed against him until he’s jolted back to reality by the feel of a fat raindrop landing on his shoulder. Another one follows quickly, and then another. 

Looking up at the grey sky, he can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “Should I take this as a sign?” 

“Absolutely not,” Clarke tells him, pressing one more kiss to his lips before moving away to start putting things back in the basket. “I love you; you don’t get to take it back now.” 

“Never,” he promises, pressing a kiss against her shoulder because that’s the kind of thing he just gets to do now. “I love you far too much for that.” 

She turns to look at him with a grin on her face, and for a second, it seems like they might lose themselves in each other again, but then another crack of thunder lights up the sky, and common sense prevails. Working together, they manage to collect their items quickly, and then just as the rain starts to turn into a downpour, they make it back to the truck. 

He closes the door to the truck, and his eyes land on Clarke, standing off to the side of the road with the same grin on her face while water drips down her skin. “What are you doing?” he asks in amusement, yelling to be heard over the rain. 

“Dancing,” she explains, swaying back and to music inside her mind with her arms spread wide. 

“You’re crazy,” he tells her with a laugh, but he takes one of her hands and spins her in a circle without further ado. 

She laughs, loud enough to be heard over the storm raging around them. “But I’m your crazy now.” 

“Now and forever,” he whispers into her ear, embracing her in a very wet hug. If this is all his life ends up being, lazy Sunday mornings and dancing in the rain, then that’s more than enough for him. Maybe he’s biased, but a life filled with her beside him sounds pretty damn great.


End file.
